5-2-12
The Jezebel Spirit
“But this I have against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel who calls herself a prophetess who teaches and leads My bond-servants astray, so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols;” (Rev. 2:20).
Some time back one of my readers suggested that I write on this subject. To be honest, I really had little knowledge concerning this specific spirit, at least at the time I thought I had little knowledge. As the Lord would have it I decided to do a bit of research and dutifully took a lot of notes that described some of it’s characteristics and mannerisms, stapled my notes together and filed them in one of my books on deliverance. As is my custom, I refuse to write on subjects outside of the Holy Spirit. What this means is simply, I am not a scribe; if I can not identify deeply with the subject through personal experience or direct revelation via the Holy Spirit I remain silent; (Mat. 7:28-29; 13:52).
It must have been a couple of months before the Holy Spirit quickened me to begin reviewing my notes on the subject. As I did He opened my eyes and I was shocked at what He revealed to me. Throughout most of my life, my marriage, my family and in many instances even in the various ministry opportunities I have been involved with this spirit has been predominantly active, causing me a great deal of misery while causing untold damage in the lives of many I love dearly.
To give you an idea of what I am saying, I will share with you something my wife said shortly before she passed. I don’t remember how we had gotten on the subject but she said: “I know I have made your life a living hell.” Coming from her that was quite a confession! I loved her deeply even as she did me, however throughout our entire lives together I can count on one hand the times she apologized or ever confessed being wrong. I knew there were problems, as well as what the causes of some of them were, but could never penetrate her defense mechanisms sufficiently to bring about the healing she so desperately needed.
Scripture says: “Thou doest desire truth in the innermost being…;” (Ps. 51:6) and “You will KNOW the truth and be set free;” (John 8:32). Unless someone is willing to look honestly at themselves as led of the Holy Spirit and allow themselves to be confronted and corrected in love they will never be set free! I am convinced that, though she knew she had problems, she simply could not bring herself to face, from God’s perspective, the truth’s concerning those things in her past that were causing them. Heb. 12:15 says: “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;” (Heb. 12:15). Bitterness comes from unresolved hurts which brings forth anger’s and all manners of unholy expression. Consider too Jam. 4:1-2a: “From whence come wars and fightings among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not; ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain; ye fight and war…” When we are self centered, self driven, unforgiving and unwilling to receive correction this is the result!
The Jezebel spirit has become tremendously predominant in our society, in part due to the way men have mishandled and mistreated women. You notice that I am attributing this spirit primarily to women… In men, the coupling spirit would probably be the spirit of “Nicolaitans;” (Rev. 2:15). This spirit is also very predominant in the church today and manifests, especially in leadership, by “binding, conquering, dominating, manipulating, controlling and subduing” God’s people. It is also predominant as the controlling factor in many families which I believe is one of the root causes of the Jezebel spirit’s ability to infect the women.
In both instances the spirits gain entrance in individuals through the direct influence of authority figures. Fathers, mothers, pastors, teachers, etc. (See the article in my web site entitled: “The people and things that surround you may influence you more than you realize” also the articles on inner healing). These truth’s are also coupled with fact that Deut. 5:7, 9 says: “You shall have no other God’s before Me. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the third and forth generations of those who hate Me.”
Now, having read that, you can see that these spirit’s can be passed from generation to generation. In my wife’s experience both of these truth’s applied. Her dad, along with other men in her life did her untold harm by controlling, manipulating and taking advantage of her… Also, she had Puerto Rican roots through her mothers side of the family which, in this case, most definitely did not help! Don’t get me wrong, I am not against Puerto Rican’s as a whole, however if the truth be known, in theirs, as well as, many other cultures it is not uncommon for the women to be allowed to “rule the roost” while the husbands, out of fear, intimidation, ignorance or laziness, allow them to get away with it! When this is allowed to happen the whole structure of the family becomes compromised with appalling results.
I remember dealing with a young man who was tremendously troubled. He was married to a beautiful lady, had two small children and, what appeared to be, a picture perfect marriage; yet he was crippled emotionally, (often expressing almost uncontrollable rage), a rage that had been caused by the influence his mother held over him as a child! The result being, he couldn’t communicate or function properly as the head of his household.
Time and again, I would show him how his mother had intimidated, manipulated, undermined, dominated, belittled and controlled him. Nothing he did was ever good enough on the one hand and yet on the other, she would tell him how much “she loved him and wanted only the best for him!” I showed him how living in this contradictory setting had compromised him inwardly. I could get him to actually “see” what she had been systematically doing to him and could get him within a hairbreadth of freedom, yet he could never come to terms with the truth that, as much as he loved her, he actually hated her at the same time! Had he simply been honest and expressed this truth, the rage would have left him and he would have been set free!
This spirit aptly gets its name from Jezebel, Ahab’s wife, see 1 Kings 16:31. She was the daughter of a Sidoneon king, Ethbaal, and worshipped Baal and the “Asherah,” (a wooden symbol of a female deity). Ahab was the king of Israel, a weak, self absorbed man who was the perfect counterpart to his wife! (He let her get away with murder, literally)! Furthermore, he didn’t care how she operated as long as it benefitted him in the process; (see 1 Kings 21, Naboths vineyard).
The spirit manifests itself in one of two ways; either by being the dominant figure in a family usurping the authority of her husband, who out of fear, intimidation or simply as a matter of convenience allows her to get away with it. Or, as was the case with Bob, (not his real name), she will function behind the scenes, undermining, manipulating, often garnishing a “conditional, manipulative love” upon those nearest her while drawing them into a relationship of dependence upon her.
She actually has a duel personality… A Chameleon who often appears loving, sensuous, “religious,” even submitted yet carries the capacity to utterly destroy anyone who crosses her. Having observed this spirit in my mother-in-law, my wife and daughter I have come to the conclusion that, none of them were completely aware of what they were doing or how wrong they were Scripturally. They probably knew in part, but they always allowed the spirit to justify them in the manner in which they interacted with me. As Sandi once said to me after having exploded unexpectedly and, in the process, cut my soul to pieces: “well, at least one of us feels better!”
The spirit is very self absorbed, at times extremely explosive, never wrong, never apologizes, is normally not approachable as far as correction goes, will always shift the blame when confronted, (usually to the one who is confronting them), often very regimented, legalistic, rebellious, etc., and specializes in attacking and nullifying those in authority. In the home it will be the husband, in the church the pastor and, especially the prophet, will be her primary targets. As Scripture teaches: “Rebellion is the as the sin of divination, (witchcraft,KJV), and insubordination, (stubbornness), is as iniquity and idolatry;” (1 Sam. 15:23a). If you were to follow Jezebel’s life story starting in 1 Kings 16:31, 18:4, 19:1-2; following through most of chapter 21 and 2 Kings 9, you would see all of these traits and more.
Returning to our opening verse for a moment, (Rev. 2:20), you will see several traits coupled together that are worth repeating. As Scripture demonstrates here: “She calls herself a prophetess…” Any true man or woman of God would never attempt to draw attention to themselves in this fashion. Never expose yourself intimately with someone like this!
Frequently you will find this spirit in positions whereby they can bring people under their control; ie. teaching or counseling etc., then, just like the above verse says, having gained their confidence they will then mislead them always bringing them under their control rather than leading them into a fully dependent life in their Lord. Once this has been accomplished the door is then opened to lead them into any number of evils.
A major point of contact here… Scripture teaches us to: “know those who minister among you;” (1 Thes. 5:12). In this point and time I share little with anyone outside of the generalities on this web site as there are few you can trust and fewer still who are qualified Scripturally as well as experientially to be able to give sound counsel. This is one of the reasons Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit… It is He Who: “will guide us into all of the truth for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak…;” (John 16:13). All we have to do is be willing to sit at His feet, seek His face and follow His instructions… (2 Cron. 7:14 as an example).
Living with a person like this can be pure hell simply because the only way a man can function with a person like this is to become everything you don’t want to be at times! I used to have to be far more dominant than I desired to be, especially with my daughter. It was either that or yield to the spirit manifesting through her and surrender the control of my house and the rest of my family. Confrontation was frequently the norm, peace was something you heard about, but rarely experienced!
On the other hand I was especially loving with my wife. Held her hand, told her I loved her, treated her like the lady she really was, brought her gifts or cards “for no special reason,” consistently tried to encourage her and build her up. Told her and showed her that I loved her on a continual basis… As Scripture says: “Love covers a multitude of sins;” and: “Love never fails.” for those of you who are engaged with someone afflicted in this manner I would encourage you to read and apply 1 Cor. 13:1-8a.
One of the major factors that I learned through this process was that I realized I could not deal with the situations in my own strength… Eph. 6;10 says: “Finally be strong in the Lord AND IN THE STRENGTH OF HIS MIGHT.” I learned to allow the Holy Spirit to deal with my wife on His terms, His way and in His timing. Often months would pass before an open door availed itself and a bit of truth could get in. Frequently I had to simply get out of the way and allow her to learn “the hard way.” This was extremely wearing on me and didn’t always set the best example for the children, however I now see the value of the training my Lord allowed me using her and the situations we were facing.
Scripture says: “Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it;” (Ps. 127:1a). Zech. 4:6 says: “Not be might nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord.” Rom.8:13 also says: “For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live!” To learn to function in this fashion is extremely costly inwardly, but without the Lord’s hand doing the guiding all we will accomplish in our own strength is to destroy everything we are trying to fix! If we are trying to function in this manner we actually become Satan’s ambassadors! (Jam. 3:13-16 resulting in John 10:10a)!
One of the things I have learned through this process is that the things that hurt us the most are often our best teachers. I have also learned that Satan will always try to hit us where it will hurt us the most, using those closest to us in the process!
Now why would God allow this to happen? Would it not be to teach us how to function in difficult circumstances? To be defused inwardly whereby we do not react to the antics of others? To also help us see how helpless we are without Him? To build a child-like dependence on Him? (See Mat. 18:3)! To help us understand deeply that His ways and ours are diametrically different? (Is. 55:8-9). To teach us how important it is to wait for His perfect timing prior to moving? (Is. 64:4)! That through them He could build patience? Long-suffering? Unconditional love and a myriad of other attributes that could not be formed in us any other way?
Perhaps the greatest blessing of them of all, was to see Him bring my wife through this in such a way that she entered glory, having become the little girl she had never been allowed to be as a child, free to love Him and me with all of her armor off, safe in His arms knowing He loved her beyond her wildest dreams. The process was costly to each of us and took years, however we both knew that without the other being who they were neither of us could have become who we were meant to be! Only God!!!
There are several points that must be considered before we close. First, Sandi did not get fully delivered until God’s Word in Rev. 2:22 took place. In other writings I have shared her struggle with cancer, actually three types, with the ensuing victorious testimony it afforded her. On the flip side, God was also using it to reduce her. Likewise, through the circumstances that revolved around it God used them to finalize certain qualities in me that, until they were completed, prevented her from being able to receive the truths from God that were instrumental in freeing her. He did everything as I learned to do nothing outside of Him!
Likewise, with my daughter, the saga is still on-going. After years of trying to work with her in love, giving and sometimes compromising myself while trying help her get past herself, etc., the time finally came where I simply HAD to confront her and POINTEDLY point out all of the instances I had tried to help, brought direct words from the Lord, bent over backwards to spend quality time with her, etc., and, while doing all of this, received insults and criticism in return. Finally last year, after she exploded once again, I wrote her repeating all I had tried to do while confronting her with the truth that: “no matter how much I gave she was never satisfied!” Then told her that there would be no further communication until she could honestly look at herself through God’s eyes, confessing her sin, repent and, from the heart and apologize; until then I would never speak to her again!
God always works best when we get out of the way; Is.64:4! Some of the keys to deliverance will include cutting all soul ties, reversing any and all curses, including the generational curse attached to Deut. 5:9. Then will come Jam. 4:7-10, and, as I have previously said: Ps. 51:6 leading to John 8:32. In this portion of the healing process transparency, honesty, confession from the heart, forgiving and receiving forgiveness as the truth is revealed will be the interwoven facets that will result in the unlocking of our past resulting in freedom. Obviously this is an on-going, time consuming process, however once it is completed the benefits are tremendous not only personally, but as we will soon see, to many others besides!
With Sandi’s mother direct confrontation had to take place. One of the things I learned was that “God will first use them to bring the changes He wants in my life; then, once He has gotten me where He has wanted me He dealt with them, often through me! When it is His time for confrontation there will be no doubting WHO IS IN CONTROL OR WHO IS RIGHT! Remember: “Be strong in the Lord, IN THE STRENGTH OF HIS MIGHT!” This is a must! The enemy will be watching to see if there is the slightest doubt or insecurity in you! If there is, you are in for a world of hurt! Therefore, no compromise allowed and no soft peddling!
Again, the only way to gain victory over this thing is to be functioning in the Lord and in His timing, “knowing in your knower” that you are right! period! Often they will try to manipulate using tears, excuses, etc., but no quarter is to be given! Until they can actually embrace the truth that they are the cause of their problems no help can be afforded them. Then once they have been freed, we are then freed to love them to death! Big smile here!
The day came when it was finally time to confront my mother-in-law. She had been undermining my authority in my home and compromising my children for years. Finally it was time to call her on it! I tried to talk to her in a reasonable fashion and she wouldn’t listen. She became abrasive, even to the point of throwing a chair at me… even then I tried to reason with her until she said just the wrong thing, crossing the line the Holy Spirit had established and I was freed to tell her: “she would never be allowed to see the children again and to GET OUT!” She left screaming and weeping, literally throwing a fit because she couldn’t get her way.
As she recounted later; “how she got home was a miracle! She was so upset, angry, weeping, etc., that she could hardly see to drive. Once home she tried to read her Bible, but nothing spoke to her. Then, perchance she picked up a copy of a book her brother had written and turned to the page dealing with hatred. It was there her Lord met her. He confronted her with the fact that she hated me, or the me I had been prior to receiving Him as my Lord and Savior… That the person she was hating was DEAD; that I wasn’t him anymore!” “That she needed to forgive me.” “That she needed to see how wrong she was…etc.”
As the Lord would have it she was able to see, able to confess and ask His forgiveness and, shortly after, write a letter asking us to forgive her. Within minutes after receiving her letter I was at her front door and the process of restoration began. Years later, we became her caretakers and she died in our home with the family fully restored around her. Only God!
Again, We must learn to let God do the work in all of us! In both Sandi as well as her mothers case, it wasn’t until I had rightly walked through my own healing and disciplinary process before He allowed me to drawn the line in conjunction with the Holy Spirit prior to confronting them. When that happened the results were spectacular! Scripture says: “and not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who was given to us;” (Rom. 5:3-5). To God be the glory!
I know that this is a rather unusual way to present a topic such as this, however, as I have been learning, everything God walks us into, He will walk us through, whereby we will then be able to share with others what He did in us, using the process at hand. 2 Cor. 1:3-4 says this nicely: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort; Who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we were comforted by God.” I hope this helps some of you.
One last thing, I would appreciate your questions or comments so feel free to share; how else can we all learn?
May God bless and be with you.
In Christ’s Love, Jim
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